So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome. Genesis 32:24-28” 

Although there may be a one-time event in which we received Yeshua’s love sacrifice for ourselves, that is just the beginning of our journey. With the Holy Spirit living within our hearts and souls, it seems that we have entered a wrestling match with God and man. Although we can know and understand Scriptures in our head, actualizing the Gospel is a lifetime journey. This past week I found myself wrestling out a decision of whether to receive a medical procedure. It was excruciating to say the least. Every day we are faced with decision-making that the LORD wants to be involved in so that we can see who He is, discover who we are, and in turn, accomplish His will for our lives. As I wrestle with God and man, I find Abba Father continually stripping away my paradigm of who He is, who I am, and what my life is to be. With fear and trembling, I wrestled out my medical decision-making with the LORD. In the process I faced my fears with Him. I sought to trust Him alone, and to hear Him so that my steps would be ordered by Him. My shalom finally came with the experiential revelation that He just wants me to lean all my heart into Him, and then rest in His sovereignty of goodness over my life.